The Wings of the Archangel Raphael on
Symbol of Medicine
Image credit: http://www.beliefnet.com/Inspiration/Angels/
My Personal Struggles Relating to my Being the Archangel Raphael
I have been in bewilderment since April 4th, 2016 when I first found through prayer that God identified me as the pre-mortal archangel Raphael. This has been so incredulous to my mind. It is so hard for me to really wrap my mind around this concept. I have asked frequently 'how can this be?' or 'who am I to have merited such a high and holy calling as a healing archangel?'. I have thought repeatedly of all my weaknesses, which are so many, and my foibles. I have thought by 65 years old, I surely should have mastered how to love and understand relationships. And here I am, one who is called who is supposed to be overabundant in love and compassion. How can this be?'
When I logically evaluate everything, it all makes perfect sense that the one leading out and teaching the healing angels would really be Raphael. I had a very extraordinary directive about healing angels from Heavenly Father in May 2015, nearly a year ago. I should have received a clue then that I would have a high calling. . . but Raphael, the archangel?
From my personal journal dated 4-8-2016, Friday:
"In prayer this morning, I felt that the hardest part of me accepting that I am Raphael, was my blindness to love over the past 40 years of marriage, from 1975 to 2015. During this period I hadn't 'gotten it' with respect to love and relationships very well. My wife is the best example I could have had for how to love. . . I really was blinded, somehow, not intentionally on my part at all, but I was not aware somehow of how to express love, to be tender and gentle in every way.
My mind and heart had a 'thick skin' over them somehow for some 40 years. I am so glad it is being eroded away, broken up and now removed. It is only by the grace of God that I am who I am today: much more loving, sensitive and aware.
Why did I have then a 40-year diversion in mortality? (Plus my life up to age 24 when I was married?) It is akin to 40 years wandering in the wilderness by the children of Israel.
My answers to the above question about why a 40-year diversion:
1) This was to help me see and experience how good people can be blinded in mortality, like I was blinded to love.
2) To help me learn not to judge others, since I had gone through this experience.
3) To increase my empathy with all people who wander in misdirection.
4) To keep humble.
5) To know it is by God's mercy that I am redeemed, cleansed, forgiven and can meet my mission and pre-mortal stature with fuller confidence.
6) Like Nephi said 'O wicked man that I am!' (or have been, see 2 Ne 4:17). I feel really like I am emerging from the 'afflictions in the wilderness' as Nephi also expressed (2 Ne 4:20-27). I want to no longer 'give place for the enemy of my soul.'
These 40 years have been a stumbling block (2 Ne 4:33) in my way of being the loving, caring, healing person that I really am!
The thick layer of my stumbling block over my mind and heart has been broken and removed! Praise to God! I now know who I am and what he wants me to do. I am filled with his love, compassion, tenderness, and sensitivity. I am becoming more and more aware of my calling to love and help heal the souls of men and women in mortality.
Truly understanding love has been my great weakness in the flesh (see Ether 12:27). I came to God, he showed me my great weakness, and his grace is sufficient for me to make weak things strong to me. Now I am more filled with love and healing, gentleness and compassion, understanding and sensitivity. Now I believe these attributes are even potentially deeper than they have been in my pre-mortal past. I now feel more complete somehow, more understanding of the people I serve. It seems this has been an intentional diversion by God to strengthen me.
Oh God! I thank thee for this 40-year diversion, I thank thee now to be free and able to see more clearly and deeply–to feel more fully the plight of my fellowmen on earth! I wouldn't have believed these things had I not gone through them myself.
Then, later today at sacrament meeting, after the prayer on the bread, I made my covenant with my Father in heaven. I immediately felt I was in God's Loving Healing Center in the meadow, facing the temple. Heavenly Father and Jesus on his right side came in front of me, to my spirit which was kneeling there. He said words like these:
'Raphael, my son, I accept the covenant you have made to take upon you the name of my Beloved Son (he turned to his right and faced Jesus), to always remember him, and to keep the commandments he gives you.
Now that you have been awakened to your pre-mortal status as my archangel Raphael, and have become fully trained and vested as a healing angel again, you are more capable than you have been before you were born. Your spirit is with us continually, doing work like you did prior to your mortal experience. In addition, you are capable in the flesh to help and bless your fellowman, as I direct you.
It has been wisdom in me to keep you unaware of the skill you have to love and connect to people. Now that you have the shakles broken from your mind and heart, that prevented you to love and really connect to others, you will have great joy in your relationships and in sharing your love. . .
You are now fully aware of who you are before me, as a very loving and powerful healing angel, an archangel before my presence continually. My group of healing angels who are now in the flesh are being awakened, and will be a strong army of healers who will act as pure conduits for our healing power which we will pour out to our children in mortality.
Great events are in store for you, my son, and will keep you busy in your great mission of healing.'
Then Heavenly Father had me stand and then embraced my spirit. I felt I went even inside of him with my spirit (full embrace), being one with him. Then Jesus drew me close too–and was also smiling broadly. I felt that they were so pleased that I knew my true identity now."
When I shared the above entry with my sister, she said ". . . I think you are being very self critical, having actually been a loving father and husband and faithful man all those years. But I accept that you feel you weren't all you were meant to be." I agree with my sister. However, I still feel very inadequate to fill the shoes of Raphael, the healing archangel.
The entry above was written on April 20, 2016, three years to the day since I saw Heavenly Mother come to the energy class I was attending.